Intercontinental Breakfast, Bed, Latrine and more

One of the most pleasant and unexpected things about Hajj is the variety of people from all over the world. As we stay in Madinah for a week, we found ourselves to get to know something about every new culture. The routine of our trip is pretty interesting itself – pray together at the mosque, then hang out at the hotel lobby or courtyard having tea or a meal with friends and strangers. There is a little courtyard near the mosque where Sanjida and I often come back to after visiting the mosque. Here we find people from the US, Canada, Africa, Indonesia, Bangladesh, India, China, Poland and just about every other country I can think of. Not only so, after the second or third time, we started noticing the same people coming here, sitting under the shades of the palm trees having hot tea and enjoying a gentle breeze that flows from the winter desert. I have truly never enjoyed such an “interncontinental” breakfast. I experienced the generosity of the Arabs, the keen minds of Indians during our discussions, the pragmatism of Indonesians as they managed groups of pilgrims, the beautiful voices of Nigerians as they sang chants in the streets, the kindness of a poor old Bangladeshi man as he offered his thin and almost non-existent prayer rug for me to pray upon and so much more.

It didn't just stop at breakfast. As part of the requirements of Hajj, in Muzdalifah, we spent a night camping under the stars literally in the middle of the desert with countless other pilgrims. We laid out our sleeping bags next to complete strangers and all slept under the same sky. When I woke up in the morning, I said hi to an Somalian boy who couldn't speak English. I asked him his name but he seemed really shy. His father encouraged him to say hello back which he did in his vernacular – he shook my hand in the way they do in his country which is a handshake between a “high five” and a regular handshake. It was cool.

Not just breakfast and bed, but also the latrines are shared. There usually is a long line for the public bathrooms, which is all that is available during some portions of our trip. When the pilgrim starts the journey, he or she enters into a state of “ihram” which basically precludes him or her from engaging in any destructive action such as killing an animal to even breaking the branch of a tree or fighting with someone verbally. The state of ihram for men mandates men to wear two, unsewn pieces of white sheets (or in our case towels). There I was wearing nothing but two towels waiting in line with men from all over the world waiting to answer the call of nature. It sounds crazy, but it was an enlightening experience.

The shared breakfast, bed and latrines had a pretty deep impact on me. It showed how similar we truly are as human beings and how we share so many basic needs. Experiencing these needs together with millions of people together for an extended period of time is truly something that cannot be described in words. For me, it encourages me work and pray harder. It makes me realize how much more work we all have left do to create a harmonious and just world. I started to see not only my prayer as an intercontinental prayer, but my work, my efforts to create a family, my friendships and relationships to truly be an intercontinental effort. Especially given my goal to empower the Bangladeshi economy to become abundant, holistic and sustainable, I see a greater need to understand not only the Bangladeshi business landscape, but also the world business landscape. I pray for an end to all wars and for world peace. For financial abundance for all countries. For sustainable companies and economies. For a greener earth. Those are things I will be praying for and working for.

Seekers On A Journey

When Sanjida and I got married, we decided to put conscious thought into the many rituals of marriage. One such ritual was that of Mahr, an obligatory gift that the groom must give the bride to be. At the time, Sanjida was not a woman who wanted much. When asked, she settled with the typical Mahr settlements that most go for. However, we were both unsatisfied with such a settlement, one that did not have our hearts and souls in it but simply settled for the mahr as a mechanical and mindless ritual of our marriage.

We asked ourselves, what does mahr mean to each of us? For me, I had noticed a pattern in our relationship where I would be dissatisfied often because I felt that I was the only one who wanted things. Sanjida was easy going and wanted little. This troubled me. I wanted a wife who would want a lot with me and from me. Sanjida herself saw how wanting little got in her way of enjoying life to its fullest. We both learned a lesson, that Allah is Al-Ghani, the abundant. And it is an insult NOT to want a lot from Allah. It is based on a scarce assumption that Allah doesn’t have much to give, OR that Allah doesn’t want to give much. Allah is oft-giving and part of our job is to ask much from Allah so that we can be thankful. In that spirit, Sanjida took it upon herself to give herself the permission to want something that came from her heart. She chose wisely and picked something she didn’t believe she was ready for – Hajj.

Sanjida faced a lot of beliefs about Hajj and how she wasn’t ready. Picking this to be our Mahr, she forced herself into a situation where she would have to face her negative beliefs about herself, about how Allah may not look favorably upon her etc. She was well on her way to wanting. And it totally energized our relationship and our married life.

We first thought we would go to Hajj right after our wedding. But we learned that one of the criteria of Hajj was to be debt-free. We had some debt and started to look at our debt. We categorized our debt into long term and short term. We learned that we needed to pay off our short term debt to be eligible for Hajj. Things like house debt and student loans we considered long term debt. We worked out a plan to pay off our short term debt and within a year we would be ready for Hajj.

What we discovered through this process was that Hajj isn’t just a journey of the physical body to Makkah. It is an orientation, a focus of consciousness in our daily lives to facilitate the journey to Makkah. That the preparation is a journey of its own. As far as I’m concerned, we started our journey when we got married and have been on that journey till now, where we are blessed by Allah to manifest the journey into the physical world. We learned that some folks on the western end of Africa plan their ENTIRE life to move eastwards, so in the span of 60-80 years they can travel to Makkah. In this way, their ENTIRE lives become a pilgrimage to Makkah.

If the journey of Hajj begins before the physical journey to Hajj, then does the journey of Hajj continue after of the physical journey? Do we become pilgrims for life? If so, where is that pilgrimage to? That is the answer we seek. We are “test driving” an answer, that the journey is the journey home, to our ultimate home. What is that ultimate home? Allah only knows. That’s the answer we seek on this journey.